OCD Madness

Another thing ya'll should know about me is I am kind of a loon. A few fries short of a happy meal, I am.

I have been through numerous anti-depressants to fix my compulsiveness and anxiousness to no avail. I'd be just as well off snortin' pixie stix as I am medicating myself with with all these artificial happy pills, as I like to call 'em.

I have not been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but I know enough about it to know that's what it is.

If I have a scab I must pick it until it bleeds. If I try to stop I can become quite grumpy. I know it's weird but I told you I'm crazy. If I know it's there, I must scratch.

I have to use the toilet at least every ten minutes or so for fear I will piss myself. This started after I had an accident in the 7th grade on the school bus because I forgot to pee before I boarded the twinkie.

I compulsively rub my fingers through my scalp every night. I don't even know why the hell I do it but I have to.

After taking my meds at night as I venture up the stairs a voice in my head tells me I must touch my husband in ten seconds or something bad will happen to him. So I go really fast up there stairs and I do it because I am afraid not to.

It's a surprise I haven't already been commited to the half way house by now but the rest of my family doesn't know about any of this stuff.

Althoug I haven't been diagnosed with OCD I have been diagnosed with general anxiety, post-traumatic stress, borderline depression and social anxiety. The post traumatic stress part is a long story. Maybe as I gain more readers I'll let you in on that one. I don't much like talkin' about it.

To add to the OCD Madness I play a game every night before I go to sleep. I call it the ABC Game. My husband knows about this one and of course he thinks I'm silly, but as crazy as it is I cain't do nuthin' about it. I pick a category: food, movies, song titles, brands, toys, ect. and I try to go through every letter of the alphabet with it....like for food I would say: Apples, Bananas, Cantelope, Dairy....and go through the whole alphabet and if I miss a letter I have to start all over with a new category. I'm a fruit cake and I need help but the last psychiatrist I went to told me to crochet to get my mind off things. First of all, I don't crochet. I'm lucky to know how to tie my damn shoes. The second shrink asked if there were more people in the room besides me and her and freaked me out real bad. Should have told her Lucifer was standing behind her with a pitch for or sumthin'.

Anyways. Stay tuned for to learn some more about me. Maybe tomorrow I'll tell ya'll the story about my dad sneezin' his denchers out and cuttin' 'em all to pieces with a lawn mower. Sleep tight folks.